Soccer Sucks

With a nod to our cycling brothers in Euro where they actually like this game, I hate soccer. It is a cancer on sports.

Take, for instance, the Saturday morning training rides. These are all governed by the time in which we must be back for (insert child’s name here)’s game. Ask Koehler how much he likes waking before it is light outside just to get a ride in. Worse yet, soccer neccessates a link on my browser favorites for the sunrise tables in Denver all because of soccer. How many more hours of rest could I get if I didn't have to ride so early?

Soccer is a game in which the crappy players can hide on the field without embarrassment. Cycling isn’t so kind. I guarantee you that if you show up for a ride, those wheel reflectors will stand out. Further, you get dropped. The flip side is that in cycling if you are embarrassed, you can make a comeback, ala Thomas Voekler, and be considered a hero. Not so in soccer. You just stand around on grass.

Soccer has no gear. No titanium cleats, no heart rate monitors, no rear cluster or cool new hubs. What do you suppose soccer players talk about between games? “Man, I have really got to get a new front left spike for my shoe?”

And what about America’s past time? While an argument can be made for how boring baseball has become, I can relate to it's storied history and tradition which is similar to cycling. But soccer has managed to deplete the talent pool for baseball players in America. Legions of children are playing soccer over baseball because they are just plain lazy.

The net of it all is soccer sucks. Redlight will try, but there is no explanation that supports any redeeming value to standing in a field hoping the ball goes the other way.

With that said, the sun is just coming up so I am off to ride Monarch. I hope I can get back in time for our game today.......

G