Animals

When daylight savings time turns off in the fall, we gain an extra hour to spend anyway we please. I find that more often then not, I spend it several times. This morning I dedicated the extra hour to a very early Monarch spin. I was treated to some freezing temps and was too stupid to wear tights, jacket sleeves or shoe covers to keep warm. In the net, I was cold.

I was treated to seeing a huge doe mule deer and a couple of coyotes traipsing the monarch hills. On the ride back I ran into Redlight and Jib going the other way. A quick U-turn and I rode the top of the warm-up hill with Redlight. I tried to bridge the gap to Jib but he would have none of that. When I got within 50 feet, he turned on the jets and I began loosing ground quickly.

Great ride this morning. There is an epic beauty to the animals and the landscape on cold, early mornings!

Snail Dik

Demons in the Cold

Jib and I rolled out this morning to a glorious sunrise. We threw down a Meridian 2X Loop. Nice ride in that it wasn't too cold. Where were all the fatties?

When we finished the ride, Jib had an unfortunate accident which was captured on film by another blogger.



Snail Dik

Overheard in Texas

• Uh, do you realize what the “shocker” is

• I’m gonna let you off with a warning, this time

• Can I draw on your arm

• I need to go and post to the blog

• 3:32 C**K

• I need to stop now; it’s reasonably urgent

• We were only speeding so we could catch our friends to tell them to slow down

• Let’s just see what they have in the suburbs

• He’s back there pedaling with one leg

The Man be keep'n my people down

This is why Fabio hasn’t been seen on the roads in some time. Dude has been working his ass off for the man.


TECHNOLOGY ALERT
from The Wall Street Journal.
Oct. 27, 2005

Microsoft's net income rose 24%, fueled by strong corporate and consumer demand for computers that run its software, as revenue climbed to $9.74 billion. The company also said it is accelerating a previously announced stock-repurchase plan, aiming for $19 billion in buybacks by the end of 2006.

Snail Dik

Going to Holland baby

The tour route was announced this morning. While there are some great mountain climbs (aspin, tormulet, alpe d'huez) I am most looking forward to Stage 3 which ends in Holland!!!! I can wait for Sherwin to yell out, "Woonplaats is Weedle"

2006 Tour route unveiled: "July 43Esch-sur-Alzette - Valkenburg (Netherlands)216km"

Cycling on the Brain

Last week I went to have my head examined. Seems that God is torturing me with incessant ear pain. It's the kind of pain that feels like a needle is being shoved into my skull and there is nothing that I can do about it.

As part of the program, I was sent to endure a CT scan. This involved sitting in a tube whilst the xray machine fired reactor levels of radiation into my head. While the process was short and painless, the freak that monitored the computer would not let me see the images. Something about I might see someone else's images. Can you imagine the horror of someone else seeing an xray of your head.

Today I was on the phone with the Ear Doc who told me the good news that I don't have a tumor and I won't be dying from my ear anytime soon. He was pretty cool when I asked for copies of the images. The nurse busted me a copy on my own, personalized DVD.

Trolling the images was quite an experience. I learned many cool things. First, I have a truly weird shape to my head. I think it looks a bit like the alien from "Aliens". I also now have proof to show Redlight that I have, in fact, seen a dentist in my life. Lastly, we learned that I have cycling fully embedded in the brain. I thought these photos were great to have just in time for Halloween.

Gun Fight

Today is the anniversary of the gun fight at the O.K. Corral. On this day in 1881, Wyatt Earp, his brothers and Doc Holliday took on the Clantons and the McLaurys in Tombstone, Arizona. Story goes that 30 shots were fired in 30 seconds. So why is this relevant to a cycling blog? Well, for starters, I think that western gunfights are almost the same in intensity as a bike race up a mountain. Lots of trash talk leading up to one, massive, explosive moment. Plus, who doesn't love a good old western cowboy story?

TexDOT

We had a few run ins with Texas' finest on the road trip down. I think everyone was stunned that we got off with warnings for two speeding violations. My tongue is still sore from bitting it so that I would not laugh.

To make matters even more zaney is Ballie's reply to the sherriff's question "Why were you going so fast?" "Well officer, we were trying to catch up to our friends to tell them to slow down!"

How we got out of these tickets, I will never know!!

Snail Dik

All hail Ricardo

Three cheers to Jib for organizing another rip roaring good time in Austin. Great crew, great chow, great ride and on and on. There are so many stories that I will always have from this trip...

In thinking back on it, I lost count on the number of times I saw people laughing so hard that they were brought to tears. Tops on the laugh meter was seeing Jib trying to hold a phone conversation with Emily while still thinking about Redlight’s “Reasonably Urgent” emergency. Dude broke a rib with laughter. And just how many times did I hear the words, “Woonplaats is Weedle”? It is still funny.

Snail Dik

View from deck

This is the view from the deck of the lake house on Lake Travis. This is bitch'n.

Loading up Loading Up

Since learning yesterday that I will be attending the Ride for the Roses in Austin ths weekend I have had to rapidly prepare to suffer through the 100 miler. As such, I am here at my doctor's office loading up on EPO and other performance enhancing drugs. Don't tell WADA!
PS - I sent this post from my phone.

Snail Dik

Aero Band-Aids are for Momma's Boys

I have been reading the “Lance Armstrong’s War” that Hammerson suggested.  It is an incredible read in that you see inside the competitive mind of the pro cyclists.  These dudes are psychotic; read I would kill to ride like them.

One of the interesting discussions was a footnote on aerodynamics and their impact on a cyclist.  Below is roughly what was explained as it relates to a cyclists speed:

Velocity has one dimension, the forward vector.  The oppositional force is air which possesses volume, and therefore has three dimensions.  This means that, all things being equal, if you want to double your speed (like 20 to 40 mph) you will be pushing against eight times the amount of air (2x2x2 = 8).

What this means is that every tiny increment faster is met with the requisite force.  It also means that Jim and Mike are total pussies for riding in their aerobars.  I bet that they both would drop off the back to suffer with fat me if not for their aero band-aids.

Snail Dik  

Fly'n High Again

As I was showering after this morning’s ride the iPod shuffled onto Ozzy’s classic “Fly’n High Again”.  How apropos?  My legs feel good, and the fat on my belly is melting.

I do still suck bad, and am left off the back of the group.  But this spot gives me some perspective.  For one, Hammerson desperately needs to enter a real race.  Pounding the minivan pilots from the neighborhood is one thing; racing real riders from the metro area is quite another.  Next, Redlight is always tough.  Third, Barry is psychotic in his riding style; dude will ride any pace on any bike any time.  Barry is the champion of the redline.  Lastly, Ballie has got to get a real bike.  Make no mistake, his Cervelo is the quintessential cool…..but I can’t wait to regain my fitness and destroy dude on all manner of hill where aero doesn’t matter.

Snail Dik van Weedleheempier

Woonplats is weedle

After reading Redlight's post correcting velonews on the nationality of Max van Heeswijk, I had to google the name for correctness. (you know, we at Banshee Cycling are very concerned about accuracy!) What I found was Max's personal site from the Netherlands.

De Offici�le Max van Heeswijk Site - www.maxvanheeswijk.nl: "Max van Heeswijk Site "

What you will find is a full Dutch offering of screwed up words and endless hilarity when you try to pronounce these jems. Remember, this is the country that has given us Snail Dik and Roodlicht! God do I love the Dutch.

Just look at something as simple as his bio stats

Persoonlijke gegevens
naam: Max van Heeswijk
geboortedatum: 02/03/1973
geboorteplaats: Hoensbroek (Nederland)
woonplaats: Weelde (België)
lengte: 180 cm
gewicht: 73 kg
max. hartslag: 180

Can you believe that his freak'n woonplats is weedle!

This is priceless stuff!

Who will it be?

Who will it be?  Disco has been a strong team for seven years all due to one intensely competitive leader.  Their successes in races other than the Tour have largely been due to the perception that each rider MUST do his job without any excuses.  We have seen that if a rider is not doing his job, he is just gone.  Based on what I have read, this has been due to the overbearing leadership and intense competitiveness of Big Tex.  
With LA gone, who will assume this role?  Unquestionably Disco has a very talented team.  Can Eki drive all of the younger riders to work their asses off?  Can Azevedo’s shot at the Tour be the force to drive the team through the year?  If I was Bruyneel, I would have picked my horse to lead the team already.  The ’06 Tour is only 8 months away; better get pedaling.
Discovery Channel for 2006Jose Azevedo (P) Michael Barry (Can) Manuel Beltran (Sp) Fumiyuki Beppu (Jpn) Volodymyr Bileka (Ukr) Janez Brajkovic (Slo) Tom Danielson (USA) Stijn Devolder (B) Viatcheslav Ekimov (Rus) Vladimir Gusev (Rus) - newRoger Hammond (GB) George Hincapie (USA) Leif Hoste (B) Benoit Joachim (Lux) Trent Lowe (Aus) - newEgoi Martinez (Sp) - newJason McCartney (USA) Gennady Mikhaylov (Rus) Benjamin Noval (Sp) Pavel Padrnos (CZ) Yaroslav Popovych (Ukr) Hayden Roulston (NZ) Paolo Savoldelli (I) Jose Luis Rubiera (Sp) Jurgen Van den Broeck (B) Jurgen Van Goolen (B) - newMax Van Heeswijk (B)

Blue tint

intro……
the rocky song playing

scene…….
streech ranch basement; its dark, hot and a distinct whirring sound can be heard in the background. The scene is washed with the flashing blue tint of a television screen turned on in a dark room.

Streech (in a muttering tone): It’s time to go, it’s time to go, it’s time to go. Hahahahahahaha. Got. to. crush. Jim.

My butt is killing me

So, with the additional weight of a whole bike hanging on my gut, I rolled out this weekend to begin the repayments to the cycling gods. I paid up but know that it was only a pitance. I am hopeful that the tides have shifted.

I can attest that Hammerson threw a nice soire. In addition to gorging on good mexi chow, I got my ears "candled". More on this later but suffice it to say, I am lighter than when I rolled into casa de Herderson.

Lastly, it fully sucked getting crushed by all manner of crap-ass bike rider. I was terrible. Women and children glided by me as if I was going the other way. Admittedly it is this pain that was the worst. My ass will heal, I will shell the fat that rings my stomach and I will show no mercy to anyone on the road. Enjoy whupping my ass while you can.......