Is Redlight really Lance?

We have all heard the story of last year's Bob Cook race in which Redlight got blasted by Tom Danielson on the slopes of Mount Evans. What we didn't hear were the reports that Tom was actually there to pace Redlight to the summit. This occured to me as I read Graham Watson's report from the Paris-Camembert race.

See below:

ThePaceline.com - News Items: "Danielson paced Lance on the climbs, then Lance paced or encouraged Danielson on the flats until only Brochard remained in front. Lance pedaled as he does in his best days, his shoulders and hips swiveled as only his do, and his eyes exuded that steely, scary, concentration that re-assures us that all is well with him once more. For one more campaign "

So maybe, just maybe, the truth is that Redlight wasn't supposed to get dropped on Mt. Evans. I hear that he just didn't have the form that day and when Danielson went to pull him up, Redlight was heard to exclaim,"Tom, you better ride like you stole something!"

Dik of Snel

Recovery Food

A one hour hard ride will buy you about 700 calories of splurge. So we have Burger King to thank us for introducing a new tasty treat for recover. Check out their new Enormous Breakfast Sandwich.


USATODAY.com - Burger King to offer whopper of a breakfast sandwich: "How enormous? For those counting: one sausage patty, two eggs, two American cheese slices and three strips of bacon. On a bun."

What to do on a snowy Saturday

I kind of knew that riding outside this weekend was gonna be a long short. You could see the big nasty storm on the satellite headed right at Highlands Ranch. In fact, I think it started snowing on Thursday.

With this in mind, I determined that it was high time for a big bike cleaning; the kind that leaves your grit under the fingernails and stains on your hands for a week. With the help of Fabio's chain whip/axle nut and Redlight's chain-pin driver, I went to town.

First order of business, the rear cluster. Believe it or not, with the right tools the cluster comes off with the difficulty of unscrewing a light bulb.



Dropped the 15 or so parts into a vat of unleaded and we were off. The next move was to jack the chain. This proved a little more difficult as you must "force" it a bit. A quick call to Redlight provided the comfort needed to crank on the pin and out she came. As with the cluster, into the gas went the chain.



Next followed about an hour and half of scrubbing, preening and working the goop from the cogs and chain. While the dried, I worked on cleaning the rest of the sled. I had oiled the chain and had it hanging to fully lube the links. I didn't have the tools to pull the cranks etc so I just went after them old school style.

With everything clean and dry, it was time to reassemble the rig. Surprisingly, everything went together simply. Locked down tight, lubed and ready to ride. Now if only the weather would cooperate. Oh yeah, and if my head would stop spinning from inhaling all the gas fumes.

Dik of Snel

Ahhh, the good life

I think that all of us are guilty of vicarious living. We have made life choices that resulted in kids, high paying jobs, huge debt loads (well, me at least) and kick ass bikes. So what are we missing? The life of a pro-athlete.

How can you avoid the jealous pangs when you read of the pro-cyclist lifestyle? Who wouldn't love to live the life of a domestique? In fact, check out this ridiculous story posted on PEZ.

HERE

How silly is it that this is appealing? At this stage of life it is either vicarious living or hope to be reincarnated as me. As a reincarnated me, I could blow off college, ambition etc for the life of a domestique.

Cipo

Today is Super Mario's birthday. 38 years old. I can hear Redlight now commenting on the fact that Cipo was born the day AFTER him. No doubt that Cipo is one of the best ever to ride. Pressing 40 dude is still a menace on the ProTour.

What is curious is that Cipo is a crappy climber and terrible time trialist. He can sprint but nothing else. Seems that the Euro press forgets this fact when commenting on the Lion King's greatness. But when it comes to Big Tex, well, the Euro press likes to comment that he can't sprint.

It begs the question: Is it better to be a great sprinter, climber or time trialist? I can't think of a rider who was good at all three; even in the world of EPO.

Below is a brief version of Cipo palmares.


Mario Cipollini
Mario Cipollini (born March 22, 1967) is an Italian professional road cyclist most noted for his sprinting ability.

His major career highlights include winning the Elite Men's Road Race of the 2002 Road World Championships, and a total of 42 stages in the Giro d'Italia. Cipollini's 42nd Giro stage win in 2003 broke the previous record held by Alfredo Binda which had stood since 1933.

Reacting to Marco Pantani's death in 2004, Cipollini said, "I am devastated. It's a tragedy of enormous proportions for everyone involved in cycling. I'm lost for words."

Amino Acids

A couple of weeks back I visited the Hammerson Lending Library. This is a pretty cool place because they don't waste shelf space with any self help or children's books. No, this is strictly a music, bike book and DVD facility.

In this library you can find all manner of bike history, awesome races and a few tomes on what it is to be a bike racer.

On this occasion, I received a book authored by none other that Bob Roll. Seems that he had taken time away from his OLN shenanigans to assemble a few pages of his bike journal and ship them off to Velo Press. Then end result is a romping book called "Bobke II".

The book is really a laugh because, as we already know, Bobke lost all of his marbles whilst sitting on a saddle. The world of pro cycling is screwy.

I have recently read a section of the book the re-tells the story of some euro showing up at his Albuquerque door step. Seems this Euro (Pan-Pan?) had been on the team with the eventual Tour de France winner and was stuffed to the gunnels with cash that was his take of the TdF prize money. (As an aside, we learn that LeMond kept all of his winnings and never shared with his team.)

In addition to blowing the Euro's cash on a Harley Davidson, we learn that the Euro is very interested in picking up a ton of amino acids for training. This is what struck me most in the book as Hammerson has been seeking these same amino acids in the form of Carrot Cake and Key Lime Pie.



Snel Dik

Supercompensation

I would be willing to bet that I am guilty of over-analyzing this training thing. It doesn't help that there are millions and millions of web pages available to continue this chase for speed.

For example, I was on the phone with a broker today who asked how the training was coming along. I gave him the run down to which her replied, "geez, have you tried supercompensating"? Uh, no.

Google it and you get another zillion pages on the notion of supercompensation. My guess is that we can hyper analyze the detail of our performance, but we will never make the Protour, at least not without a ticket.

So, lets ride tomorrow afternoon, I'll supercompensate later.

Snail Dik

yeah, great...but where is the bike rack?

Pretty cool ride in front of my office today. When I beat Redlight in the TT he promised to hire one of these for a night on the town. Plan on TT number 1 for that!

Sorry guys, after Vat of Snails/Snail Dik post, I got nothing left.....

So you think you are fast?

One of the most intense experiences I have had while cycling was the feeling in the pit of my stomach before the first Cherry Creek Time Trial last year. Here we were, thinking what total badasses we are with a bike. We roll into the parking lot and are totally surrounded by superstuds on machines that cost more than my first house. Whoa Nelly are we in trouble!

If you think that we were unjustified in being completely intimidated by just the sight of these team guys, you're wrong. We got crushed.

From that time on I have become fascinated with local teams. There are tons of team across the country that you rarely see. Pretty good chance that the "continental teams" are even stronger than the dudes who killed Redlight and I last year. Below is a link to a list of the 2005 continental teams which means that they are full fledged teams that race in different states (ie Webcor, Health Net etc). I just spent 15 minutes Googling in some of the teams and got the same feeling from last year's time trials; these dudes can crush you at will.

Cycling4all: facts & figures

I think I'm gonna go home and ride until I drop....


Snail Dik

A Vat of Snails.....or Snail Vet you choose

Had to check out Hammerson's translation website. Hemmmm what to translate?

Let's try Fat or Fast?

What do you get but a Vat of Snails!!!!!

The literal translation is:

"Vet of Snel?"

You have got to be kidding me. I am so happy to have Redlight in the group. I get such sick joy from this crap!!!

Arapahoe Greenway Deathtrap

I have bitched about this trail and the Centennial Trail as being unsafe at the speeds we ride our high-end machines. In today's Denver Post they have an article on just that issue.

DenverPost.com - LIFESTYLES: "ticketing cyclists who exceed the posted 15 mph speed limit"

Apparently there is a speed limit of 15mph. Who knew? Either way, I still don't like riding these trails.

High Octane Jet Fuel

Since the new year, I have had occasion to ride outside quite a bit. And as the un-official team fodder bringing up the rear, I have been able to determine that, with the exception of Hagaan Daz Hammerson, everyone is getting much faster.

In riding with Fabs this past Saturday, I learned that his climbing this year is gonna be totally ferocious. This is really no surprise; Koehler can climb!

But what is his trick? How is he able to kill in the hills?

Alas, Saturday night I had occasion to visit the Koehler World Headquarters and learned the secret to Koehler's speed.


JET FUEL!!!

It's jet fuel plain and simple. He buys this stuff under the brand name of Pravda Vodka. But given its clean, high octane nature, it is clearly fuel for the road.

....Oh, and its really, really good!

Fast or Fat???

Bikernol

What a beautiful day to ride. Had to be seventy, sun is shining, birds are singing...worst of all, its Friday.

I can't take it any more. I need to salve the wounds caused by work and the stress of life. Many Americans turn to chemicals or alcohol. I know what I need; a 500 cc shot of Bikernol.

Hit the Monarch Loop for a little four o'clock ride. The wind was howling out of the north. For those who frequent this track you know that it means a fast climb and a hard peddling descent.

Best part of the ride had to be the Continental Team rider I jammed by just past the Broadway intersection. Dude was in full kit on a bitch'n Fondreist. Nothing to do but put the hammer down. He grabbed my wheel at the base of the warm up hill but that just made me go harder. I dropped him somewhere near the top and only saw him at the top of the Castlepines golf course where he went the other way around the loop. Team riders are soooooo much more fun to beat the mammas riding beach cruisers!

Anyway, pulled a 64 min ride from the school. Not bad considering the viscous wind.

Chalk one up for Fast today.

a Dutchman without a bike is like a fish without water!

This is priceless!

As you may well know, our own Redlight (Roodlicht in Dutch) is in fact wooden shoe wearing tulip sniffer direct from the friendly underwater world of Holland. It is this fact that has brought hours of ruthless teasing from all Banshees. Furthermore, his Dutch pride has made me hyper sensitive to anything Dutch and notice even the smallest bit of info related to Holland.

With this in mind, I nearly split my sides laughing at the latest Holland board of Tourism creation, "Holland, It'll stay with you!" Hah! So will the Clap. This is Vegas style promotion at best.

My curiosity piqued, I had to look further. Holland touts itself as a cyclists paradise. In fact, the title above "a Dutchman without a bike is like a fish without water!" is from their website. What was even more fun was the following detail about cycling in Holland:

The Official Holland Site - Netherlands Board of Tourism & Conventions (NBTC): "Another important aspect is that Holland is generally flat with only an occasional hill "

No wonder Fabio rocks Redlight up Deer Creek canyon. Redlight just doesn't have the experience in hill climbing!..... but I'm sure he is a menace on water skis.

I have to stop, I'm laughing so hard the tears have clouded my eyes so that I can't see the screen................

A day like any other...

Yeah, somewhere on the blog Hammerson commented that he was skiing today while the rest of us worked to earn a few cheese burgers. But while Mr 6'3" was cutting a groove in the freshies of Keystone, it was a busy day for me.

First, I got faster. Frigg'n cyclo core is getting easier as evidenced by pulling the "Crow" for the full 30 seconds. I'm gonna fly at CCTT.

Second, two deaths in the Death Pool; Chris Le Doux and Glenn Davis if your playing at home. My brother in law is now in the lead with that Cowboy songwriter pick.

Third, another weather shortened day in Paris-Nice. Surprised the BlueNan didn't score the win. BTW, where the hell is Disco anyway? Why ride if you are not going to try to win with someone. If LA is waiting for the TdF, why doesn't he play domestique for someone else. I can't stand to watch Disco's half ass effort. It sucks.

Fourth, I decided to "fold a hand" on a big real estate deal; Long story, very difficult.

Fifth, LA drops one of the most confusing statements I have heard from him. He was speaking to some French newspaper on the Parisian bid for the 2012 games. Check the quote from SI below.

SI.com - Summer Olympics - Paris deserves 2012 Games, says Armstrong - Wednesday March 9, 2005 1:52PM: "'It's a complicated question. To be honest, I believe Paris deserves the Games,' Armstrong was quoted as saying by daily Le Parisian on their website on Wednesday.
'They (Paris) had the best bid for 2008 and it eventually went to Beijing, probably for some other reasons. But the Paris bid is great, that's for sure,' he said. 'Paris is a legend city on this planet."

Biggest lesson of the day; don't ride rollers while watching Patachi/Cooke/McEwen etc sprint for a finish. Its really hard to stay vertical when it feels like you are being pushed into the barriers!

Fast or Fat

Shorter

Does it seem strange that the race organizers keep shortening the stages of Paris-Nice? This was posted today on Velonews:

VeloNews: The Journal of Competitive Cycling: "Wednesday's third mountainous third stage across the Massif Central was supposed to run 180km from Thiers to Chambon-sur-Lignon, but snow in the region has prompted organizers to shorten the stage to 118km."

While it is clearly logical that they can't ride through the snow, I wonder if this is a common thing. Were they merely taking a chance when they set the route through the high mountains in March? What about some snow plows?

Tree Hugging Redlight

In this age of the environmental Nazism, I think that we should all be concerned when working on our bikes. The solvents, degreasers etc all need to be managed carefully so as to not destroy mother earth.


That being said, I am pleased to learn that one of our own has been particularly diligent in the effort to tread lightly on the earth. Redlight has shown that he cares much more than your average American or euro for that matter. He loves clean water, recycling, forests, pristine oceans. He hates nukes, oil drilling, deforestation and acid rain.


In fact the following picture from today's Paris-Nice finish is proof positive of his environmental sensitivity in that when he cleaned the blue paint off his bike, he recycled every last chip of paint to be cast into Tom Boonen's kit.

I’m Faster than Lance

I watched the prologue to Paris-Nice with the same excitement as most cycling idiots of Highlands Ranch. I was so excited that I hauled butt back from my afternoon ride to catch the opening of the Pro-Tour even though Tivo was ready to go. Alas, today we learned why the Tour is king and all else is just, well, just riding.

While there were some very interesting spectacles, the blank bike ridden by Georg Totschnig, the hill, the cold, the chicane, it was the lack of things that I noted. Where was the coverage of Danielson’s ride? Where was Phil Ligget? What about Floyd’s finish? Basically, OLN seemed altogether bored to be broadcasting the show. I’m surprised they didn’t have Trautwig and Gumm do the commentating to save some coin.

Note to OLN, Scott Coady would do the coverage for free and we would all be better for it……” it’s Lance and Pantanni….goooooooho hohoho!”

Maybe OLN knew that LA wouldn’t be showing up. In fact, I am pretty sure that I rode the last 4K along Wildcat into the wind faster than Lance went today. They barely showed his ride but I am pretty sure that he flatted somewhere around 1K.

To OLN’s defense, some of the Disco team stuff was cool. Dug the Carmichael tips. The clip of Roll getting rocked at the line was awesome.

The Pro Tour missed out on a great opportunity today. If you know you are going to get the coverage due to LA, why not figure out how to make a showcase in your first event of the year? How about some background on the sport? How about a discussion on the cool ass rigs these guys are on? Maybe a little interview with Cuenego, or Danielson or…… Maybe instead of showing Roll on the couch doing, God only knows, they could have a little something interesting about the sport/ProTour/riders.

In the end, I am worried that crap job broadcasts like this are going to ruin any chances of coverage after Lance retires. I guess it will be back to the internet and Velonews to see what is happening.

When I make all the money in the world, I am starting a cycling channel. We’ll cover everything. We’ll have average dudes doing the commentary. We go on group rides with the HR Cycling Club and then make fun of them in the editing booth. It’ll be awesome.

Fast or Fat?

Thieving Scumbags

It's no secret that I have come to enjoy the blog as my personal outlet for the rage that boils within my cycling soul. Redlight calls them "rants" which, while honored by the term, I prefer to call accurate depictions of the world we live in. But today's "rant" is about the thieving and mindless humps at cycling news.

I submit the following as the opening line to an article published just yesterday:

www.cyclingnews.com news and analysis: "Here's as blatant a piece of bike porn as we've seen in many a week."

I must have missed the credit for MY words, Bike Porn. We all know this was my creation; years ago. How un-fair, How un-just??? They have stolen my creativity. They have stolen my art.

It's beside the point that you can now buy your own Livestrong bike. It's beside the fact that Hammerson has one on order to be displayed in his foyer. Fact is, I should be paid. The man has been keeping my people down for far too long. It's time to rise up.....are you with me????

Doubt it. I guess I will just crawl back into the dungeon, pound out some CC (that's cyclo core for you couch monkeys) then put some miles on the donkey. Too bad it's a spin-recovery day. I could use a good pounding.

Fat or Fast?

I should have known..

Redlight is a dentist. While on its surface, this doesn't mean very much other than this is his occupation and economic skill set. But what this statement really means is the Redlight likes to hurt people......bad.

Heretofore he has kept this mean streak confined to a chair where people pay to have him shove sharp implements into their gums. Unfortunately, he has now expanded his horizons and has inflicted pain, I mean bad pain, on me.

To be sure, I was not sitting in his chair when the torture was inflicted. No, he simply handed me a DVD just like a drug pusher says, "try this, you'll like it". But this was no normal DVD, this was Cyclo-Core.

At first you perform the work out and think, "well that was great". Surely this will make me faster. Truth is, you have just torn apart every muscle fiber in your body and two days later you will be begging for your own death.

But this is my fault. I know who Redlight is, I know how he makes his living. I guess I never thought that this blood lust would spill over into sport.....my bad.

Fast or Fat

PS -> You gotta try Cyclo-Core, you'll really like it.