Dripping in sweat, begging for mercy

I took Redlight's cyclo-core DVD for a test run this morning. Actually, I previewed it last night as a better choice than the Oscars. This morning I put the work out in play.

After futzing around with the different DVD players in the house, I got one to work that wasn't in my bedroom; Anne appreciated this effort. I wandered into the section that is called "body-weight" work outs which involves calisthenics style movements. I might add the yoga adds a little "Hindu" flavor to the work outs.

While none of the individual workouts are difficult, the crushing pace and zero rest between gets to you. Pretty soon I was, as the title says, dripping in sweat, begging for mercy. Dude hammers out this exercises like they are covered in chocolate.

My only prayer is the Redlight says they get easier with practice. They better or I might have to find another sport, or some slower riders to hang out with. The benefits are obvious. When riding in the aerobars this past Saturday, I threw out a goal to Redlight, "all out to the white sign" which was 300 yards in front of us.

As I began hammering the pedals, Redlight just pulled away leaving me in the dust. It was clear, the strength training was a big difference.

Bottom line, these exercises are brutally difficult at the pace set by the dude on the DVD. I think I might keep at it as they are all cyclo-specific.

Fast or Fat

Omloop Het Volk

How cool is a race called Omloop Het Volk? While Redlight might know what this means in english, to me, it is one kick ass name for a bike race. I can here the conversation at the bar, "Yeah me and Jens overhear just finished the Omloop. What did you do today?"

What stands to make this race even cooler is the sad weather conditions they run this baby through. Check out the quote:

"Last year's edition was canceled due to heavy snow and bitter cold, but this time organizers guarantee that the race will come off regardless of the temperatures. "

Its is as if Beth Wrenn-Estes is running this race. For those of you who don't know, Beth is the race cooridinator of the ACA. During last year's CCTT, it was spitting rain and snow with the temp hovering at 30 degrees when I called her to find out if we were on. Her comment was, "Yea, why do you ask?"

Cyclist are known for the destruction of their bodies, not for their tolerance of crappy conditions. None the less, the Omloop is on with our boy Hincapie heading the Disco squad.

Fat or Fast

Speed Demon

So you wanna know how fast you need to go in the TT? Consider the following chart:

22.0 Min = 28.6 MPH
22.5 Min = 28.0 MPH
23.0 Min = 27.4 MPH
23.5 Min = 26.8 MPH
24.0 Min = 26.3 MPH
24.5 Min = 25.7 MPH
25.0 Min = 25.2 MPH
25.5 Min = 24.7 MPH
26.0 Min = 24.2 MPH
26.5 Min = 23.8 MPH
27.0 Min = 23.3 MPH

Redlight broke into the 25s last year. Fastest I remember was a dude who pulled a 22 minute ride.

Now imagine what it is like to hold these kind of average speeds! This is with wind, the hill -> everything. That is the beauty of the TT. Your computer will tell you that you need to go faster. You can watch your speed across the course. You know that it is a slight uphill for the last 1K into the finish. While your mind and computer are screaming "Go", your legs and lungs heartily disagree.

To get a place, you have got to fly. The best dudes in our class are in the 24s. That is fully haulin'.

Instrument of Speed

I had occasion to drop in on Fabio World Headquarters two weeks ago. It seems that the mommies were throw'n down with some flower project for the teachers and I needed to be involved in the process.

Anyway, while there, Fabs gave me a tour of the basement torture chamber. In it was a shiney new rig as seen below:



Impressive. This cyclops machine can be fine tuned to match exactly your riding configuration. It is preset with all of the doodads and gizmos to dial out your training session. The 45 pound fly-wheel has a breaking system and complete set of speed sensors to give you an accurate read out. Futhermore, the base feet were wide enough that you don't get much bike wobble.

What was most curious was the aftermarket rearview mirror that Fabio had bolted onto the handlebars. He explained that this is where he tapes a picture of Redlight to remind him that he needs to pedal harder if he wants to see this image. Just imagine that kind of motivation!

Riding on the Wind

So, with the rest of the Banshee Team engaged in fatty activities, Fabio and I hit Chatfield Reservoir for a little ride. I was looking to do some big ring work in the aero bars while being crushed by Koehler's red machine. Needless to say, the wind was a huge factor.

While riding the dam road in the big ring, I passed Fabio as he was turning circles in the parking lot on the top. I never saw him so I kept going hard in the bars. I had a good lead on Koehler that he couldn't close until I sat up at the river crossing. This was the first indication that the aerobars work really well in the high wind.

The second was on the ride back in which Koehler was beating his head against the wall while I stayed low and aero. Another gap opened up. I believe this is strickly due to the aero position as the wind was horrid and kept Koehler slower when he was clearly riding stronger than I.

The net was a great large muscle work out, which I am currently paying a price for. Tomorrow will be a slow, inside lactic reduction ride.

A Note to Mr. Leichtle

Like Redlight, I have my start time. I also have the start times of the 15 guys that start before me and the 15 that start after me. And the psychotic me also has the finish times for all of these riders in last years CCTT. As such, this is a note to Mr. Leichtle;

"I want to tear your legs off and feed them to rats".

You start five in front of me and I intend to scare the crap out of you when I got by you on the finish line. I don't know you; but I know I can crush you. These same sentiments go out to Christie, Walker, Gilliland and Carroll. You stand between me and glory; this is not a safe place. I hope you can ride fast cause you are going to need to.

As for Clark, Jones-Albrecht, Tucker, Mieszala, Mikulas, Gudis, Snyder and Hoehler, you had better plan some heroic rides to catch me. While Mr. Tucker might be 65+, his historic times belie the fact that the boy can ride. You are a marked man; I ain't your Huckleberry.

So to those starting around me at the CCTT, you had better bring your A game. Me and the Donk are running on jet fuel and ti.

Fat or Fast

They call me Moonbeam

I have been waging an unholy war with viruses and bacterium which have inflicted what must be the total destruction of my immune system. In fact, the doctors have recently fitted my home with the proverbial "plastic bubble" to keep 5 mills of plastic between me and my doom. The worst part is being kept off the wire donkey. She needs me; I need her.

So, I decided to take drastic measures to jack this disease out by the root. To do this, I made a trip to the local crystal and yoga shack known as Vitamin Cottage. As I rolled through the doors, I felt a sense of eastern metaphysical peace come over me. All at once I had an urge to bang a copper gong or sit on smooth rocks near a pool of water.

I wheeled into the "isle o pills" where I was greeted by Sally Blew Eyes. After relaying my story of woe, she perked up and said, "why of course, you cellular walls are too thin. Fortunately, we have just the thing to fix you up". I fully expected her to hand me a pipe, but she had other things in mind.

First, I need a horse pill that disguised as a multi-vitamin.

Close inspection reveals something that looks like it is held together with horse dung. In fact, I am told that the main "binding agent" of this little delight is mushrooms; here comes the hookah! All at once I could hear Grace Slick, "One pill makes you larger
And one pill makes you small". I'm sure I got the larger pill.

In addition to the mind altering multi-vitamin, apparently I am a little low on elder berry. Fortunate for me is that it comes in a little bottle with a dropper. And you wonder why I call these places the crystal and yoga shack.

Anyway, $33 bucks lighter, I am on the mend. I feel good and am cranking once again with a renewed plan to have a kick ass year; at least now I wont be getting sick due to the thin walls of my cells.....oh yeah, and the year supply of EPO wont hurt either!

Fat or Fast

So, you wanna go fast?

While I have always lusted for the Cervelo TT, this Guru rig may just take top honors.



Carbon backstays to dampen the bumps
Oversized aero chainstays for rigidity in the drive train
The tucked in rear wheel

I know that I could crush Redlight on this ride. See, money does solve your problems!

Yo, What's the deal???

From the ACA website this morning:
American Cycling Association: " on February 20th at the latest."

I don't remember what happened last year but it seems that they put us through the wringer then too. Maybe we should offer our services to prepare the start time list. I am pretty good at typing and I know that Redlight can read.

It wouldn't be so bad if this wasn't the lottery that it has become. You would think to sign up for a race would be just that. Instead, billions apply and you have to be lucky just to get a spot.

For those of you watching at home, this is why Redlight and I get so torked up. The waiting is painful; even moreso than the actual rides. Will I Get In, Will I Not?

Fat or Fast?

Mitsubishi Replaces Subaru

Do you think that we will be seeing new Lance commercials sporting a new sponsor? This flick is from the Tour of Qatar; one of my personal favorites. Where else do you see camels and carpets including in cycling? Furthermore, you get the pleasure of watching the high end, euro teams suffer with middle eastern culture. Its a lot like riding in the sand and broken bottles that Douglas County has left in the bike lanes in Highlands Ranch!

Still Waiting

American Cycling Association: "I will be compiling the start list over the next week and will publish it to the web on February 15th"

Maybe she means by the end of the day on the 15th!!!! Since all of you weaklings were afraid to sign up for the CCTT, Redlight and I are the only members of our group scanning the ACA site for our start times.....

In the DNA

As a member of the Banshee Cycling Team, we can assume that I really, really enjoy riding my bike. What most don't know is that cycling even permeates my DNA.

Example #1: My father has been a cyclist for more than 20 years. Now while the roads of Phoenix have never been scorched by the rubber of my dad's tires, I'm guessing that he has on the order of 20,000 miles in his bike computer. Furthermore, dude ride a custom Ti Serotta.

Example #2: My sister runs triathlons...ok she used to. To do this, babe rides a trek built up for the TT.

Example #3: My mom just acquired a Gary Fisher Tarpon. Granted, this rig is best suited for a leisurely jaunt on a ped trail. However, I for one love this type of trip.

So as you can see, I have a great cycling force within my DNA. I can't help but ride. I would venture to guess that if I stop, it could cause some cataclysmic breakdown within my genes and I would die.

Fast or Fat?

All-New Rapid Weight Loss Program

As I seem so prone to doing this time of year, I have just spent three days suffering through my latest weight loss program. I think it could be the new Phen-Phen. All it takes is a little flu bug and "WHAMO" off come a quick 10.

Meanwhile, as I lay writhing in tortured pain, Redlight rolled by with the Cyclo Core DVD. Can't wait to give this a rip. With the idea that we all need to spend more time constructing muscle in the off season, I am excited about the results that this little DVD can bring.

As I write this I am looking out my window and it is snowing again. The good news is this means the fatties of Highlands Ranch wont be on their bikes today!

PS -> I saw Fabio yesterday and he has been in country for quite a while. That means he has been training a lot more than last year. Tough break for Redlight.

Fat or Fast?

Velo News

For some unexplainable reason, I let my subscription to Velonews expire. I hadn't really noticed it though as I the kind folks at Velonews continue to send the rag every two weeks. I guess I must truly be "Lord Pimp" and that is why they feel they must pay homage.

Today, however, I received my Feb 1 copy which has LA's ugly mug plastered on the cover. I figured that this would be another blah version spewing on and on about how great disco is and how no one can beat them; that's not really news is it? To my delight it is their annual "05 teams issue". I love this one 'cause I can read about all of the teams, who's on 'em, and who's gonna kick who's ass.

There is of course the obligatory "Disco is Great" story. But I think the Horner story kind of makes up for it. So do the photos of Leipheimer head to toe in a Gerolstiner kit. Hard to believe it ain't Rabobank. Who's left on Rabo anyway....Redlight? One word of caution. You might need to avert your eyes when you see Cipo's "badness" in the Liqidgas team page......uuuuuugh.

With the racing season just underway, I for one am getting worked up for a ride outside. Unfortunately, looks like the weather is gonna be a downer for Sunday.

Haagan Daas is Vegan

This little spiff if from our boy Hammerson. These Twinkies are looking for members to join their team. I think my bird based bloodlust specifically excludes me.


OrganicAthlete: "Dear OrganicAthletes,
January is a time of change, reflection and hope. Each New Year rings in new commitments and goals. OrganicAthlete has officially been in existence for just over a year now, and as I look back over this past year, I see that we have planted many seeds that are sprouting into wonderful programs. Our website and other educational projects continue to develop as comprehensive resources for athletes committed to creating a better world through sport. Our pro-activist team is the first ever team of professional vegan athletes. Our membership has grown to over 100 members worldwide in less than a year. And we're set to launch a vegetarian sport nutrition conference in 2005. And that's just the beginning."